In the past 3 weeks of returning home from a very abrupt ending of my second semester at university – I have realised how much the existence of a routine affects my perspective on life, my motivation, and my self-esteem.
I am no longer the girl who spends 10 hours in the library to achieve her first-class degree. I am no longer the hard-working student set on achieving the goals that I have set out for myself. I have become a complacent child whose innocence has returned. All notion of hard work has left me even though the academic year is yet to end. I feel as if I have been sucked into this portal where nothing I do really matters. The sun rises and it falls. And I just exist. Nothing more, nothing less. I just exist.
It only took 2 weeks of ‘semi-forced’ isolation to lose my passion for my work, passion for my creativity. Instead, I have curled up in my privilege, binge-watching ‘How to get away with murder’, making scones and pretending to know anything about music by switching the radio to classic FM.Continue reading “Lockdown Pondering:Losing yourself in the midst of the unknown”