Salut mes amis ! Today I bring you something a little bit more heart felt. I sit on my couch in my school uniform listening to one of the only songs that describes me (River flows n you by Yiruma) . In every note a new emotion is created more intense than the last . Ahh , I’ve decided from now on that I am going to write from the heart and that means pouring my soul out in words then so be it .
Yesterday I started and completed ‘The Manifesto on how to be interesting by Holly Bourne’ ; I was pleasantly surprised by the book and I have to admit was taking aback when I noticed some similarities between Bree (The main character) and myself. Okay , okay I am not saying that I am some rich private school teen who is in love with her teacher. However , we are both similar ,in a indirect way, as we both react extremely to things that other people just will not get. I’m depressed even though my life seems perfect; I have panic attacks even though I seem intact . Depression , anxiety . I can’t help these feelings but I can control them and “Choose to live” my life .Haha, this is actually one the first times I have admitted all these to my self out loud, I guess that the book really did inspire me . It’s inspired me to stop giving a teddy bear about what anyone thinks about me . If you know me then might think that this is already my mindset but I’ll let you on a little secret IT’S REALLY EASY TO FAKE IT. Actually ,it’s terribly easy. Note : Just because someone seems Okay doesn’t mean that they are. In my experience ,many people (including myself) have not tried hard enough to understand . Understand what is going on in each others explosive minds. Yes , yes you can’t force someone to get help but a little caring nudge will never hurt anyone.
Tomorrow I’m going to start my journey . My journey of self discovery. That last line almost made me cry with laughter, I sound more and more like a hippie every day . Don’t I ? I am going stop caring about what people think about me. Last but not least; I am going to start caring just that little bit more because you never know when someone will desperately need your care . 🙂
P.S Oh. Before I forget, I’m thinking of starting a mini project to get teenagers to be more confident with themselves. To stop caring, I have this thought for so long but did not know how to put it into words. Make-up . Yep , I can see your eyes squinting but hear me out. One day. Just one day , for teenage girls to try ( I do stress try because I know for some it might be hard) to wear less or no make-up to school. You might say that this will not make a difference on how they view themselves but I disagree ; I see each day ,some, girls splash on the make-up not for the sole reason of being in love with it but because they view themselves as not good enough or dear I say… Ugly .
Please comment as your opinions will be much appreciated. x